Abby McDonald, Getting Over Garrett Delaney
You’re not in love with me, not really, you just love the way I always made you feel. Like you were the centre of my world. Because you were. I would have done anything for you.
James Frey, A Million Little Pieces
I close my eyes and I let my body shut itself down and I let my mind wander. It wanders to a familiar place. A place I don’t talk about or acknowledge exists. A place where there is only me. A place that I hate. I am alone. Alone here and alone in the world. Alone in my heart and alone in my mind. Alone everywhere, all the time, for as long as I can remember. Alone with my family, alone with my friends, alone in a room full of people. Alone when I wake, alone through each awful day, alone when I finally meet the blackness. I am alone in my horror.
narcissism | aline weber by paola kudacki for 25 magazine #3
I wrote in my notebook a couple of weeks ago, or maybe months, who knows, I don’t keep track anymore, that I am letting you go. I remember feeling as though a heavy load was lifted off my shoulders after writing that entry. Like I was setting myself free when I made that decision.
But it’s 6:30 in the morning right now and I find myself thinking of you. My heart is heavy again.
It all comes down to the last person you think of at night.
That’s where your heart is.
Tonya Vasylchenko by Piczo
"Do you like me?"
Silence bounced, fell off his tongue
and sat between us
and clogged my throat.
It slaughtered my trust.
It tore cigarettes out of my mouth.
We exchanged blind words,
and I did not cry,
I did not beg,
but blackness filled my ears,
blackness lunged in my heart,
and something that had been good,
a sort of kindly oxygen,
turned into a gas oven.
I’m sitting here thinking of all the things I wanted to apologize to you for. All the pain we caused each other. Everything I put on you. Everything I needed you to be or needed you to say. I’m sorry for that. I’ll always love you because we grew up together. You helped make me who I am. I just wanted you to know, there will be a piece of you in me always. And I’m grateful for that. Whatever someone you become and wherever you are in the world, I’m sending you love. You’re my friend to the end.